That is What I Should Do

What are you living for, exactly? 

To see more, do more? 

Perhaps your ambition is to do less, weigh less.  (I can relate.)

That's all fine. 

But what is your purpose?

To see your children grow. I have told myself that is my purpose. But everyone does that, don't they? That's not my purpose, then. It's just a purpose.

Many of faith will answer with a purpose rooted in service to a deity. But if everyone of the faith has the purpose of service, it can't be your singular purpose. It's a shared purpose.

What is it about you that is necessary?

I ask myself that without answer. 

I squeeze myself into purpose after purpose, helping, trying, pushing. 

Tiring. 

I have great success in many of these square holes. But I am the peg.

I find my joy in places where others have tested to arrive. I don't belong there, not really.

And as I sit waiting for enlightenment to arrive the clock ticks away from me on day after day of my purpose insolvency. 

The funny thing is, I have no malaise or distaste about it. I'm rather fine plodding along doing what I'm doing.

 I find I just prefer comfortable shoes. 

Perhaps this is the wisdom that comes with my age. And my purpose is to know that and nothing more.

In the end, it is my ambition to seek peace and enjoy it with others. I'll keep at that until my purpose presents and I shall hope not to be too worn or weary to retrieve it and see it borne.