Tuesday, January 29, 2013

You Asked For It

By request, rails on the following topics – and as a challenge to myself, I’ve included a bonus – rant in prose:

Hear the bell? “Dinner is ready!" Just the words, to keep a tummy steady!

Who doesn't love a ding? "Ding, ding, ding! Ding-ding-a-ling!"
I’ll tell you who! My good friend, "Ding, Dong!"?
A visitor you say? What could go wrong?

Don’t cringe that way When you hear the doorbell ring

After all, every little ding Is a musical thing

It’s a song on a wing A cousin to ping

And that makes it better Than anything!

Of course, once inside

A visitor must abide

By the mudroom rules

Hang hats, please, on hooks, Next to the tools

Coats in the cabinets Colored in neutral tones

Greys and Browns are o.k. In the savviest homes

A wet-safe floor is a must in a room made for mud

And easy-wipe counters to get rid of the crud

Speaking of crud – How ‘bout them 2012 Cubs?

Last year was filled with spilled catches and flubs.

But not this year, no way, no sireee!

This is our year! Can you say WOO WOO WHEE?

There’s no way we won’t take it

I’m right and I know

I’m a Mom. I’m always right

So I’ll see you at the show!

Maybe I’ll arrive in a race car or an old-fashioned trolly?

Though I’m not likely to come with Trixie or Polly

I like my characters with a little more edge

One who can cling, grinning, to a precipitous ledge

Think CatWoman, if think at all, you must

A gal with some shadows

And a generous – um – trust.

As for where I might while away hours

As I wait for the big game

Expect to find me in my kitchen

Where granite counters and cherry cabs reign

To be honest the granite was a boner of a buy

But who knew it then, when I was economically high?

Not me, nor all of the others - Thousands of us suckers

Who wish we could sell that fine granite For a supply of PB and Smuckers

The sandwiches we could make

Would sure come in handy

Since short selling the house

Is where we may land… y

‘Course therein lies the rub, if you follow along

‘Cuz we can’t afford this, though we did nothing wrong

It’s the banks, I shake my fist at the sky

And the congressmen and lobbyists, I shrug limply and sigh

What can we do, but just keep plugging

While we celebrate the Cubs record-high slugging!

If I’m not in the kitchen I’m cleaning the house

Or chasing that God forsaken grey mouse

Who visits twice a season with no invitation

And provides me with endless, manic, motivation

To sweep, mop and vacuum – the latter’s the best

With a Dyson, no question or lengthy contest

That yellow magic machine with the whirly middle

Makes me smile all the while like a cat with a riddle

Unlike that double-park scene Out in front of the school

Though I know why it happens It’s certainly not cool

Too many folks drive, without a place to stop

Coming from work it’s hard to walk, skip or hop

To the entrance to wait for your little lollipop

So we need traffic management

And who better for the job

Than my sharp-witted husband?

Such a smart-alecky pop.

Between him

And some guy named Einstein

He could solve all the world’s problems

By today at four-oh-nine

And he’ll do it while being just as sharp as white cotton

And humble, and sweet, and not at all rotten

As for my precious Lu, remember you’re a copy, darling

And a fuzzy one at best

Maybe you should try again

After you've gotten a little rest.

Better? Do not mess with your Mami, love

Take heed some advice

I’m dangerous with a pen

Really, any writing device

Recall what you’ve heard

Don’t challenge me with a word

Frankly, the idea’s absurd

And the hashtag? Apology preferred.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I've Had About Enough of That

When my mom said that, I knew the clock on her patience was ticking. It was fair warning, so to speak. I haven't heard that little phrase in a long time, as I've long since learned the signs of testing her limits.

This morning, as I read the news, I heard that phrase and it startled me. It was in my own voice.

Did you hear? Michelle Obama's face registered an expression that might have been an eye roll after something John Boehner said? Who cares? So what? I've had about enough of that.

Paul Ryan didn't like everything the President said in his speech? The president is a 'liberal'? (gasp!) Yes. But Paul Ryan also said it was important to be there because he believes in the peaceful and respectful transfer of power. Hey - anyone going to put that clip on the news? No? I've had about enough of that.

Wayne LaPierre believes that the President's inaugural address reflected a hypocrisy, of sorts, in that it called upon the Declaration and the Constitution for inspiration but, LaPierre believes, the President's stance on gun violence is an attack on rights those documents protect. "Words do have meaning, Mr. President" LaPierre said, "And those meanings are absolute..."  Is that right? Ever heard of an amendment? I've had about enough of him.

I'll say again, our forefathers did not have either the right to bear arms against their rulers nor the assualt and mass-killing machines we're producing today and we still won. We won. We won, dressed as farmers and bakers and blacksmiths.  You do not need an AK-anything to win anything. You don't and we can all be reasonable about this issue. I'm tired of hearing otherwise. In fact, I've had about enough of that.

I have an awful lot of conservative family and friends. I love them, adore them, invite them to my house, hug them, eat and laugh with them. I kiss their babies and send them Christmas cards. They are my children's teachers and my cousins and my co-workers. We have a laugh every once in a while when we traverse over common ground and meet at our points of disagreement. So what? We disagree. So what?

A house divided cannot stand. A great Republican said that, and he was right. I agree with him.

The only way we can change the frenzy over the few things that divide us is if we stop giving it attention - positive or negative. Stop watching those shows. Stop responding to those articles. Stop re-posting that garbage on Facebook. Stop, stop stop. I don't want to hear any more of it because none of it fixes anything. What fixes things is working together, giving a little even if you don't like it. Hell - all the married people in this country ought to have that figured out. If someone says something you disagree with or think is a little antagonistic - let it the hell go! Let it go! Still work with that person, still try to meet that person halfway - try to meet him 60% of the way. Try for the love of God and country, try!

The failure to do so leaves us right where we are. And I've had about enough of it.