Wednesday, August 17, 2011

More Than I Bargained For

So Sam and Sara are 11 today and on reflection all I can think is that this is not what I signed up for. I signed up for one baby, first of all. That the Lord saw fit to give me two could be viewed as a blessing.


Could not.

In this case, most assuredly a blessing of epic proportions.

I'm just saying.

Also, I was kind of hoping one of my kids would be a quiet one, kinda balance out the overage of volume at the parental level. Not the case, so far, and I'm no longer brave enough to test the averages. Look what happened last time!

The family I designed in my head had less of me in it, and these two simply did not get that memo. They repeat my temper, my tantrums and my willingness to speak my mind at the most inopportune moments. If the payoff here is that they also repeat some of my talents, it's diluted for me by the fact that they're way more talented than I am and they have some of their dad's talents, plus their own! It's a bit gauche to be so multi-talented, don't you think?

And now, they're so gorgeous? Really? We couldn't dial it down a notch by having some one or the other be a bit plain? No? Everyone's got to be fabulous in every department? In Sam's case, so far, this has only proven to be mildly annoying as little girls are becoming reticent at this age to demonstrate their admiration. Boys, on the other hand, have no trouble making every possible move a 10- or 11-year old can make to get Sara's attention. Gladly, one of her talents is oblivion. But when that turns... lookout!

So they're lively, articulate, interesting, good-looking and talented, charming.... Uh. So where are the cameras? I'm on, right? Hmmm?

Fine, I'll play along. But when the show's over I get to keep them right? I'm a little attached.

In the meantime, these two little peanuts who fit in one basket when I brought them home, who sat side by side in matching high chairs and wore coordinating overalls when they were toddlers, and learned to dance to daddy's incessant playing of 'Can't Touch This' by MC Hammer, who nearly killed me during the potty training decade (it FELT like a decade), and finish each other's sentences, and are fine to be in separate classrooms--so long as they can see one another on demand--still, who once fit together in a dresser drawer for purposes of hide 'n go seek--that is until the dresser caved in and nearly killed me (I've nearly died several times while parenting; kids are fine), who bicker and berate one another constantly but can't get comfort from anyone the way they can from each other, these two who have no idea really how unique they are in the world, my babies who will always be my babies no matter how big they get, and who love me double as twins are wont to do, and who I love, adore and treasure more than I can say, Sam and Sara are making the double digits look good. I can only hope for more and more, especially the hugs and kisses and snuggles and love, love love. Although, to be fair, I will say it's all been way more than I bargained for.