By request, rails on the following topics – and as a challenge to myself, I’ve included a bonus – rant in prose:
A visitor you say? What could go wrong?
Don’t cringe that way When you hear the doorbell ring
After all, every little ding Is a musical thing
It’s a song on a wing A cousin to ping
And that makes it better Than anything!
Hang hats, please, on hooks, Next to the tools
Coats in the cabinets Colored in neutral tones
Greys and Browns are o.k. In the savviest homes
A wet-safe floor is a must in a room made for mud
And easy-wipe counters to get rid of the crud
Speaking of crud – How ‘bout them 2012 Cubs?
Last year was filled with spilled catches and flubs.
But not this year, no way, no sireee!
This is our year! Can you say WOO WOO WHEE?
There’s no way we won’t take it
I’m right and I know
I’m a Mom. I’m always right
So I’ll see you at the show!
Maybe I’ll arrive in a race car or an old-fashioned trolly?
Though I’m not likely to come with Trixie or Polly
I like my characters with a little more edge
One who can cling, grinning, to a precipitous ledge
Think CatWoman, if think at all, you must
A gal with some shadows
And a generous – um – trust.
As for where I might while away hours
As I wait for the big game
Expect to find me in my kitchen
Where granite counters and cherry cabs reign
To be honest the granite was a boner of a buy
But who knew it then, when I was economically high?
Not me, nor all of the others - Thousands of us suckers
Who wish we could sell that fine granite For a supply of PB and Smuckers
The sandwiches we could make
Would sure come in handy
Since short selling the house
Is where we may land… y
‘Course therein lies the rub, if you follow along
‘Cuz we can’t afford this, though we did nothing wrong
It’s the banks, I shake my fist at the sky
And the congressmen and lobbyists, I shrug limply and sigh
What can we do, but just keep plugging
While we celebrate the Cubs record-high slugging!
If I’m not in the kitchen I’m cleaning the house
Or chasing that God forsaken grey mouse
Who visits twice a season with no invitation
And provides me with endless, manic, motivation
To sweep, mop and vacuum – the latter’s the best
With a Dyson, no question or lengthy contest
That yellow magic machine with the whirly middle
Makes me smile all the while like a cat with a riddle
Unlike that double-park scene Out in front of the school
Though I know why it happens It’s certainly not cool
Too many folks drive, without a place to stop
Coming from work it’s hard to walk, skip or hop
To the entrance to wait for your little lollipop
So we need traffic management
And who better for the job
Than my sharp-witted husband?
Such a smart-alecky pop.
And some guy named Einstein
He could solve all the world’s problems
By today at four-oh-nine
And he’ll do it while being just as sharp as white cotton
And humble, and sweet, and not at all rotten
As for my precious Lu, remember you’re a copy, darling
And a fuzzy one at best
Maybe you should try again
After you've gotten a little rest.
Better? Do not mess with your Mami, love
Take heed some advice
I’m dangerous with a pen
Really, any writing device
Recall what you’ve heard
Don’t challenge me with a word
Frankly, the idea’s absurd
And the hashtag? Apology preferred.