Saturday, December 7, 2013

I'm Thinking of Losing My Mind

A little advice for my honorary niece on the subject of losing one's mind:

I don't mind telling you, it might not be such a bad thing. You wouldn't have anything on your mind, Georgia or otherwise. That'd free up some space. You couldn't possibly mind anything, even if you wanted to. You'd never be at risk of losing your mind again because, once lost, no one ever tries to find their mind, right? No one would ask you to mind their children. Really, you'd be absolved of all responsibility and accountability as you'd be well within your rights to claim being out of your mind in the event you did something that bothered someone. You couldn't do anything that required mind over matter so dieting, exercising and any other strenuous self-improvement initiatives could be tossed out the window.You'd have no frame of mind to color your decisions and you could skip every single meeting of minds. I'm so tired of meetings anyway. Whatever loads you had on your mind would be permanently off, you would never again have to bear anything in mind and you could not have your mind blown which, frankly, sounds awfully painful. No one could win your heart and your mind. You'd never again have to make up your mind, mind your own business, or wrap your mind around anything, and you'd be permanently un-boggled! Why bother trying to put your mind at ease when you have no mind? Don't tell me to never mind, I never do! Hah! It's possible you could benefit from half a mind but, honestly, if you were in your right mind you'd realize you don't need your mind at all! It's clear there an awful lot of people in positions of power who long ago learned this truth. In fact, I'm sure you know somewhere in the back of your mind that I'm right. The solution to all problems is to simply lose your mind!

I also think you should stop eating your socks, but let's work on one thing at a time.

No comments:

Post a Comment